Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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