weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
