oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
