I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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