Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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