I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
