I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
this boner is exhausting
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
