I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
People in love make me want to vomit
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
