I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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