I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
