If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you would pick up someone in the library
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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