its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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