I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
