why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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