theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
