Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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