How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
