Three words: puerto rican gang bang
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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