did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
