how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
