So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
