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i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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