holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
