I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
