youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
