Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
