i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
