So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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