Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
