never play flip cup with pint glasses
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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