True but thats because hes a fetus.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
