This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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