So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
