just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
