My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
