did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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