We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
