i would punch a child for taco bell
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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