i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
