I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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