that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
