I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
