If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
