ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's never too late to be topless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
