Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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