It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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