as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
