I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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