Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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