Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
