I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
