hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
