I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
